I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
