I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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