I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize