i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize