He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
