I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
