we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I had to cum in my sink.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
