i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize