OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
