I must be too annoying 4 u.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
