you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
