She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
