yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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