so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
