Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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