I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize