Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
In other news, I just burned my penis
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
