no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you would pick up someone in the library
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You left your phone here
Wait...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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