So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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