OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
