Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
