I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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