i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
