i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
