Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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