I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
