I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
