it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
