Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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