Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
you made out with another girl for some wings
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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