there's paper in my vomit.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just high enough for therapy.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
