I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
