All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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