I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize