her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
