Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
