i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
