Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
