The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
