i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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