Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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