I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
