just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize