Those balls look pretty dangerous.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
