Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
this boner is exhausting
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I have post one night stand depression
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