Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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