Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
