Fuck appropriateness.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
