dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
that is very illegal...i love you.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
