I want to make a zoo with you.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
