I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
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