My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
