Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just had sex on a roof
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
