I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
