I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
