he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
