Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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