Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
