The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
