That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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