Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
