Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
