I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
