glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
