i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize