in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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