If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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