Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize