every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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