Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
